My Top 5

As a tore open my newly delivered September Parents Magazine tonight (once upon a time it was Seventeen and then Cosmo, but those days are long gone or on hold. Someday soon I am certain I will do as the Cosmo article suggests and "Buy the sexy new lingerie to entice my #1 man"), I will admit my heart skipped a beat. I love my little Parents magazine that gives me all sorts of advice, cool gadgets, helpful information, and neat ideas. I just read it-cover to cover. Sad, I know. What can I say? I'm easy to entertain. If you have any form of human offspring, ages 0-12, and don't subscribe, you should. It's great. Makes a good potty or bathtub read too-on the rare occasion you might get to actually sit on the toilet alone without someone asking you if your are teeteeing or pooping. I highly recommend it-the Parents Magazine, I mean. Well, actually I also recommend sitting on the toilet alone, but that is neither here nor there. As I wait for my single Tylenol PM to kick in and help sooth my summer sore throat, I leave you with my 5 favorite pieces of advice from the article, "39 Things Every Mom Should Know" on page 64 and will explain why I love the advice.

5. Put Band-Aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?

(Seriously, I find myself rationing bandages with Finley. I actually grade the level of her injury to determine whether or not it needs the Diego bandage she wants. Why have I been doing this? I won't do this again. She can have as many as she wishes. In the scheme of life, it's a damn band-aid! Who cares!)

4. At some point it will be February. Things will seem bleak. You will think about vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. Know that it will happen again at the end of summer, right before school starts. It's the circle of life, baby.

(So guilty just in the last week of thinking I'm not reading enough to the kids, I need to get to the gym, should I buy organic meat, and whether I should take a vitamin D supplement. And it's right at the end of summer-just like she says!!!)

3. Know this? That stain won't come out. And it's okay. The sooner you accept this, the better.

(I have a shirt of Finley's that has sat in the bottom of my laundry basket for at least three or more months that has green Sharpie on it. It was a brand new shirt Brandi bought her and has a matching skirt and everything. I have tried all my ideas from my stain removal bag of tricks with no success. I'm still holding out hope. I will now put it in the "play clothes" drawer and move on with my life.)

2. Buy kids deodorant before they need it.

(We don't need it, but the thought has crossed my mind. And in my experience of teaching third grade, just know that your child's teacher will appreciate it when her students return from P.E.)

1. Just throw away the poopy underware.

(nuff said!)