Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Six Things and Some Pics

A few things I've learned today..............

1. Even shoes from Naturalizer will leave a blister on your foot if they are new. But they are cute. Cute sometimes hurts. This point will be proven again someday when I win the lottery, make an appointment with a top-notch surgeon, and my boobs are painstakingly lifted to a cute new height. Cute sometimes hurts.

2. No matter what day you visit, the Driver's License Office is always full. Now here's a place that you can go and feel really good about your life.

3. If you gargle with salt water because your throat hurts right before you go to bed and don't rinse your mouth out, you wake up feeling like you licked half a salt block and walked through the Sahara, never mind that your tongue feels shredded. Learn from my mistake. Rinse with clean water after gargling. The sore throat was less bothersome than my damaged tongue. Raise your hand if you don't know what a salt block is?

4. Your husband will pout if you don't get the sheets on the bed before nine o'clock at night, even though it was his fault that our child wet the bed last night. You know I'm right. He might have resorted to doing it himself. Gasp........ I guess I'll let this one slide since he had a part in making the two cutest kids in the world!!!

5. If you wait two years and the Aqua Dots people still haven't sent you a replacement for their product they recalled, call them again. They will send it in four days via UPS. Evidently they aren't busy in October. Persistence, I tell you, persistence. Persistence plus a small bit of insanity that I saved that 1-800 recall number for two years. I got Pixo's. BTW-they are crap, too. Maybe they should put the whole dot thing to rest and move on.

6. I have a single chin hair. It's prickly. It ain't blond. It just keeps coming back, pluck after pluck. Why won't that pesky little nemesis just go away. If you ever cross my path and see it, just pull it. I will thank you for it. I think the birthday gift card from Hobby Lobby should have been appropriately switched with one from Laser Dynamics. Again, Cute sometimes hurts.

And for my pics..............................

This is a "Punk". That is what he told us his gymnastics teacher calls him. Fitting don't you think? Who in the world would have thought my five month old, twenty pound, blond chick fuzzed hair baby would ever be called a "Punk"??? Why the squinty eyes, my son? Difficult to be called a Punk, isn't it.

This is a 100% on our first spelling test ever!!!! Look out Harvard, here he comes. I will also accept an institution of higher learning in Texas, as well. I mean, look at the pencilmanship.

This is what you get when you hand Finley the camera. Nice tile, appropriate grout choice, but the chipped cabinets could use some paint.

This is my very own Brat Doll. Comes equipped with attitude, sass, and spunk. Likes chocolate, rice, tea, macaroni, and cucumbers. Changes undies at least five times per day. Colors a mean Mickey Mouse page, dances and sings like Beyonce, and is scared of furry life-size animals, like the cow at Chick-Fill-A.

This is a seedless cucumber. It was glorious. All that a seedless cucumber should be. And who knew there was such a thing???

This is what happens when you don't wash for four days. Seriously, it was like four days. Let's break it down a little and see where it comes from. Two soccer practices, four school days, two gymnastics, two workouts, one music class, three sleep pants night, three play in the water or with the dog days, fifteen size 2T panties, two preschool days, plus mine and kyle's daily clothes, and a partridge and a pear tree.

This is what you find packed away in your wedding scrapbook album Rubbermaid bin under the bed. The cutest size 5, squeaky, almost brand new, baby shoe that went missing in the Fall of '07. The partner has long since been File Thirteened. It was so cute, it made me teary. Did her foot really fit in that little shoe or did they pull a three year old little girl with blond ponytails from my loins cause I don't remember a baby that small???

This is what's left of a red velvet cake when served in Edward's cardboard presence and on china. It was lip smacking deliciousness. I have some in my freezer still. I have to put it there. So I won't eat it. Standing there with a fork. Eating out of the plastic container. You know you've done it too, don't lie. And I bet you have a chin hair, too. If not, give it a few years and you'll be asking for a Laser Dynamics gift card. Or even worse, you already have one and don't know it and your friends and family have seen it, but just don't have the balls to tell you. I'm just saying...............


Funky Finds said...

Cenee was always scared of anything in a mascot uniform or costume. Santa, Iraan Brave, etc. I still don't think she "likes" them, but she's quit bawling when she sees them (I think).

The Boyd Gang said...

I want to get my boobs added to and lifted when you get yours done! I really love the squeaky shoe! Where did you get those? Emma Claire would love to have a pair and I've always thought they would be fun.

Tracy said...

#6 - me too!! I'm mortified!!

Anonymous said...

I used to have one of those Brat dolls. I miss her. She was also scared of those big ugly animals. The lubbock Cricket nearly did her in. I am 13 years older than you so don't even whine to me about ONE chin hair. Just wait til your 45. Love you guys and the spelling test was quite impressive!