Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pearls of My Wisdom........

One January day, life as I knew it changed. My name did, too. They showed me this little human being in a warmer and I found myself being a mom. I no longer had just myself to take care of. Gone were the days of waking up on a Saturday morning and wondering, what do I want to do today? Actually, I can't remember the last time I woke up to the world being my oyster. What do people without kids do on Saturdays anyways? They get pedicures, sip lattes at Barnes & Noble. They shop with friends for cute strappy shoes and little shirts that they saw in last month's Cosmo. They doze off beside the pool with the sun shining on their sun-baked skin. Showers are long and relaxing with brand new loofahs and girl razors. The get dolled up for another night on the town with friends and come home in the wee hours of the morning, just because they can.

And eight years, three kids, and lots of blood, sweat, and tears later, I have realized that this mom job is a hard one. Maybe the hardest. In just the past few months, I have frequently found myself laughing quietly as I look at my three kids. Where the #%&* did these guys come from. Well, I know WHERE they came from, but when did this all happen. I just find it humorous-I think it's so funny that these little humans roam my house. And have taken over my world!!! They came, saw, and conquered......ME! Who am i really? Finley's favorite show is Alice and Wonderland-the Johnny Depp one. She loves it and I find it peculiar that she does. It's almost scary and so strange. But we watch it everyday and yesterday I was watching it for the thousandth time and I looked at Johnny Depp and thought, OH MY GOSH!!! I am the mad hatter! I am totally the mad hatter. For one, I feel like I look like mad hatter with my clothes all mismatched and my hair sticky straight out every which way. But I totally feel like I'm mad some days. Being a mother of three children has made me become mad, as in-CRAZY!

I'm no longer organized or in control. I cry and yell somedays. I loose things-my purse, my keys, socks, shoes, bills, photos, my mind. What have I become? My skin is dry from using antibacterial soap and my nails are chewed and unpolished. My eyes can be held up with toothpicks some mornings I'm so tired. I eat chocolate to survive the afternoon and smell my tshirt to see if it stinks too much to wear it another day. I'm usually juggling a baby in one arm while trying load the dryer and I haven't bought a new pair of panties in a year. None of my bras are cute, I mean, who needs cute bras when your boobs droop to your belly button? I'm afraid it's gonna take alot more than a bra to fix this pair. I spray dry shampoo to hide my roots and Comet Clean-Up is my best friend. I tend to sweat profusely when I'm nervous or when I blow dry my hair over five minutes. Boy, am I a catch. Poor Kyle. I wipe poop, puke, snot, and rotten milk on a daily basis. And I even once lied and said I had to go buy a new bra just so I could leave my house and be alone for a hour. Going out to a movie is like going to Vegas. Commercials make me cry and so does Kyle if he brings me a Chick-Fill-A unsweet tea. I like the simple things. Tea. I cry for tea that I didn't have to make myself. I have resorted to crying about TEA!!! You see, I am totally the mad hatter. Did you know that the term "mad as a hatter" refers to the 19th century usage of a mercury-based compound in the making of fine hats. Due to long-term exposure, hatters would often develop symptoms of mercury poisoning, such as tremors or mood-swings, that would make them appear "mad" to others. And why I know that also qualifies me as a nerd, as well.

I love my children but I will tell you, honestly, that some days I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way. I am not the person I once was. I look in the mirror and wonder where that girl in the skinny jeans went that sat on the hood of her silver Camaro and smoked cigarettes on a roadtrip (right, Jessica!?!) I cry for the Camaro, Kyle cries for the skinny jeans. Being a mom makes you less selfish, and sometimes I feel like I give every ounce of my being to them. I am plum pooped most days. But a good hot bath and a few hours sleep gives me a new perspective each day. I get up and do it all again. Because I can. Because I am blessed. Because I can eat chocolate at three o'clock. Because I'm mom. Because my mom did it for me. Because not every day do I feel like the mad hatter. Because I love the three humans that roam my house more than my life. Because life is made of those moments. Moments that can't be replaced by money or things. You can't buy fat baby hands, blonde piggy tails, or waxy ears.

I once woke up on Saturday mornings with nothing to do. But now, life has changed. I still get a pedicure-when someone gives me a gift certificate. I don't drink lattes, I drink Chick-Fill-A tea. Instead of Barnes & Noble, I sneak my Kindle out late at night. The strappy shoes have been replaced with comfy flats and the little shirts I now buy are size 9 mo, 5T, and boys size 12-14. I now doze off on the couch, holding a sweet baby and my skin is white, but wrinkle free. Showers are quick with old loofahs and usually with my razors that Kyle has already stolen to shave his face with at least once. I get dolled up once in a blue moon to eat dinner with my other friends who need a night out away from kids. And I am up in the wee hours in the morning, feeding my baby.

And actually, when I wake up on Saturday mornings, the world still is my oyster. Sometimes I open it up and there just some sand, just another ordinary day. But sometimes I open it up and there's a pearl, a day that they say or do something that I will remember the rest of my life. I live for those oysters. I love those pearls. And there's no rule that says mad hatters can't wear pearls. : )


Mandi Watts said...

This is a great post and so accurately captures motherhood!

Funky Finds said...

Oh my...I laughed out loud so hard when thinking of road trips in your Camaro. Jamming out to Tom Petty, we were certainly running down a dream! :) But it sounds like you have a wonderful life now that not just everyone has the opportunity to experience. I'm sure it's trying at times, but man, what a blessing. Your family is so precious! I never would have imagine you with THREE kiddos! And no more, poor Kyle! You are & always have been gorgeous. You are both lucky to have each other (thanks to me introducing you, of course...LOL) Once those kids finally fly the coop, you should write a book :) I'd read it!

The Stanford Family said...

I think you should write a book!

I read this while scarfing down a hamburger before my G2 needs me!!! LOL

You just wrote what every MOM wants to say!

Anonymous said...

What a profound piece that you just wrote--I am teary--I hope that Miss VP reads this and sees what a great job she did with you and your writing. Thank you Charlena!Also glad that you realize how fast it all goes by and it won't be poop, puke, and fighting except for a short sweet time. Mother

Chey-Anne Smart said...

Yea, well, I got sentimental and wrote that last night & today mine where so mean they made me cry. It's a rollercoaster around here. One day I want to keep them & the next I want to send them to military school.

Loving Life in Trubyville said...

This post rocks!! And you rock!! :) I loved every sentence. I laughed, cried, nodded in agreement, and let my mind wonder to my own "back when" world! :)

Anonymous said...

This is one of my favorite posts thus far!! And that's really saying alot because you have so many great ones. We really do live for those oysters, don't we?! Motherhood is the most rewarding thing I've ever done and been totally exhausted in the process..........wouldn't change it for the world! Best feeling ever!

Brandi B