While I should be blogging our summer vacation photos, or Slade's football pics, or my once every 11 years get-away with my husband pics, I just have to write. I need to let a build up of my creative juices flow because I have not had time to actually make any of the 200 things I pinned on Pinterest. Who's got the time, I ask???
Anyways, I was sitting here tonight thinking or actually feeling puzzled by all the things that motherhood has taught me. I mean, I feel like Christopher Columbus did as he discovered the New World. Ok, maybe not exactly like him, but pretty darn close. You see, the thing with kids is that you just never really know what's going to happen. When you go into this mother thing, you really don't have a clue. And the worry. My gosh, the worry that floods your mind on a daily, or shall I say hourly basis. Plus I'm psycho, so I worry more than the average Joe. For instance, I actually have lost sleep wondering if the fish tank extension cord might make the rag that Finley's fish tank is sitting on catch fire. Or whether the head of the farmer might pop off the antique Fisher Price Farm House that is from Kyle's toy bin as a child and could choke somebody. Crazy right? Crazy because everyone knows that old toys are way better that the crap toys they make today. That farmer head isn't going anywhere if Kyle and his friends didn't tear it off in the 1980's. But the worry, it's there punching me in the face every single day. And we won't speak of the day Slade has car keys. I might need to check on the status of mental health being covered by my health insurance (which I'm sure is not). I walk into my kids rooms at night to make sure they are breathing. Does anyone else do this? Anyone? Anyone? On the bright side, I do know I'm crazy, so that's good.
Back to Motherhood teaching my things. You've read, "Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten", right? Well I'm going with my own version.
Everything I Need to Know I Learned as a Mom. And so tonight it begins.......
#1 No Matter How Well You Plan, It's SOOOOO Not Going to go Your Way.
Example 1-This weekend after much indecsion on my part on whether or not I should go to my hometown for Homecoming, I set off on Friday morning. For days, Kyle and I discussed who should go, when we should go, if the kids should be taken out of school on Friday, what time we should leave, etc. And so not until Friday morning did I wake up and decide not to go. And then my daughter walked into the room and I told her I wasn't going. She was thoroughly disappointed that she wasn't going to get to spend the next 36 hours with her dad. She wanted me to go on. Ok, point taken. She wanted me to leave. So I went. Got the big kids to school, packed mine and Gunnar's things, and we took off. Of course I strategically planned to leave by 10 so that I could get to Iraan by 1:30. I could put up his bed at Nana's and he could have a 2 hour nap so he would be refreshed by game time since he would be up later that usual. And my kids don't EVER, EVER sleep in the car so this was going to work out perfectly.
Yeah, not so much.
About 2 hours into the trip I look back, and who's asleep in the back. Knocked out like he's had a Benadryl cocktail. My baby that never sleeps in the car, that's who! So you can guess the rest of the scenerio. He thinks that the 45 minute nap is all he needs and by 9pm at the Iraan High football game, the 22 month old is running on sugar from cotton candy, excitement of being around 5 jillion people he doesn't know, and pure adrenaline. He was like the Energizer Bunny on steroids. Over-stimulated is the politically correct term, I believe. Two hour nap at Nana's house? Well, it was a good plan.........
Example 2-There are the cutest leotards for Finley to wear for dance this year at her studio. My plan was to have a mother/daughter bonding memory and take her there to get new ballet and tap shoes and let her pick out an outfit, without the brothers. They had the most colorful, cute combinations. I couldn't wait to take her!
So we get the shoes. We get the tights. And then we go to try on outfits. 8 millions to pick from. What color does she pick? White. She picks white. The color that is the worst to keep clean. The white that will show a stain if someone so much as breathes on it, and then I will have to wash it every week and buy extra bleach pens. Crap. So what do I do. I concede. Fine, she can have white. She at least will choose a cute glittery skirt with sequins. What does she pick? She picks the worst skirt of the entire store with awful tulle and rose petals stuffed loosely inside. U. G. L. Y. And made poorly, I might add. No, I'm putting my foot down. You cannot have that one. Pick either this cute one or this cute one. I go through the whole, "I won't buy that with my money" lecture. And my six year old daughter looks me straight in the eye and tells me she doesn't want one then. She will not budge an inch. Nope. She would rather not have a new outfit than get the skirts I picked out for her.
So we had a fight in the dance studio bathroom. Then we left-without a leotard or skirt. These bonding moments just don't ever turn out how you see them in your mind.
Example 3-By the time the third baby came along, I had learned a thing or two about baby food. Try to get them to eat new things not once, but at least 10-15 times. They will probably end up liking it. So with Gunnar I got the Baby Bullet and enjoyed making his food. I loved it and it was sort of an obsession. I wanted to make him try as much as possible. I messed up with the other two. I didn't have them eat things like avocados or couscous or salmon when they were babies. I didn't even know they could eat that stuff. So my plan was to give him all foods so that maybe I would finally have a food ally in my house. All the others in my household are picky and my husband is the worst of the pickiness. I just wanted one person in my family to try new things with me and love them! For months, G man ate great foods-quinoa, mango, greek yogurt, fish, chick peas, black beans, etc. I did a super job. He was set for life. I had opened up a great big foodie world for him.
Fast forward eight months. That same little couscous/avocado/mango eating fart now won't touch hardly touch any fruit or vegetable with a ten foot pole. He still eats pinto peans and quinoa. But he has reverted to eating only apples and strawberries. If you give him watermelon, he acts like poison is dripping from it an spits it out. He will eat cooked carrots from a roast and green beans. And that's it. He is on some kind of food strike. What the heck happened?
No Matter How Well You Plan, You Are CRAZY If You Think It's Going To Go Your Way.
