My Friend, Charmin

If you happen to come across this blog and do not know me, you simply will be treated to a good laugh at my expense this morning. If you read this blog, and you do know and love me, well, you'll appreciate this story...........and be treated to a good laugh at my expense this morning.


Let's see, where to begin? I go to bed last night, a bit more spooked and on edge for a few reasons. 1.) I am four days away from having this baby and my sweet doctor just happens to be in Las Vegas. So for the last four days, I've been freaked out that he's not in the vicinity and will be home and back in the office on Monday morning. I flat out told him that he was supposed to go on vacation during other patients pregnancies, not mine. He laughed. 2.) I've been having a few random cramps here and there the past two days, which probably mean nothing, but seeing that I've never had a contraction in my life bc my first child was breech, I wouldn't know. I've only had csections and never once gone into labor. And again, my doctor is out or town this weekend. So you can understand, I'm on edge a bit. 3.) Just a few hours prior to bedtime last night, I had to, for the first time this pregnancy, go up to the hospital to be monitored because this child simply wouldn't move. So last night, I drive myself to labor and delivery, get in a gown, get hooked up to monitors to see why baby is not moving. Only to come to the conclusion that this child responds to cold, sugary apple juice. I had shaken, clapped, rolled, drank freezing cold water to try to get him to do something before I went up there last night. I got like one measly kick. So they give me a giant container of apple juice to drink and a button to push every time I feel him move. So I don't ever drink anything with sugar because I don't like sweet drinks and it hurts my already bad stomach. Well let me tell you, from the time I sat in the hospital bed with the clicker, he kicked and moved more times than he did from 6:15 yesterday morning till 6:15 last night combined. He went nuts rolling, kicking, moving. Ok, I felt ridiculous. This child responds to sugar. Note to self...when your baby won't move, give him hospital grade apple juice. Nice.


So I've set the scene of my night for you. I. am. a. wee. bit. flustered. this. weekend. Please get back into town, doctor.


I head to bed last night, excited to roll around like a walrus all night, with a stopped up nose, on my side, with a pillow propped up between my legs, and the prospect to getting up to go the bathroom at least 8-10 times. Yay to nights being nine months pregnant! Now, you are keeping in mind that I've never had a contraction, gone into labor, nada, so I have no past knowledge in this area. On about my third bathroom break last night, I get up and stumble to the bathroom. All stiff and sore, half asleep, delirious, I take my bathroom break. So when I finish, I stand up, pull up my panties, and take one step towards the bedroom. All the sudden I feel water, running down my legs, onto my calves, and into the floor in a puddle. My eyes open as wide as saucers and I look down at the wet tile. OH. MY. DEAR. GOODNESS! Did my freakin' water just break? I have to idea about the water breaking thing! This has never happened to me! What!?! In about 2.2 seconds, I was wide awake! So my initial reaction is to feel my underware in the front. Um, it's dry. Ok. I feel the back of them. Dry. Am I dreaming? Nope, I'm standing in water. My feet are wet. I'm confused.........Until I touch the waistband on the back of my undies.


In my sleepy delirium, my chosen piece of toilet paper had gotten caught in my panties, not fallen into the toilet. I seriously have no idea how it did this. It was all the way unrolled, the top of it wadded up along the waistband of my undies, with the back of my gown, I might add. The bottom of the piece, at some point before I stood up must have been hanging several inches into the toilet water. I can only come to the conclusion that Charmin can absorb a ridiculous amount of urine, toilet water-whatever the chosen liquid might be in only a few seconds. It's good stuff.

Roll of Charmin toilet paper.......$1.50
New pair of my favorite undies..........$6.50
A new gown from Kohls that I love.........$20.oo
The utter relief of realizing that I was standing in my bathroom in the middle of the night in urine soaked toilet water instead of amniotic fluid..........PRICELESS!

P.S.......Dear, Dr. Lampkin, I hope you enjoyed your trip to Las Vegas. I hope you relaxed and went to some great shows and won lots of money. I hope you feel refreshed and re-energized. Now, get your #%$ back to Lubbock! You are needed here-I cannot have my third baby without you. Sincerely, One Crazed Pregnant Lady

Happy Friday!

So much fun dressing girls in cute Halloween clothes!

Cita's Birthday

Birthday Luggage for Cita!

A few weekends ago, we celebrated mom's 60th birthday. We had hamburgers and cake. It's the end of the day, so we all looked a little weary-I'm sure mom won't like this photo. Mom is a good looking lady for 60-don't you think!?! In my mind, she's not a day past 48 and I'm still 23. That's what I like to think, anyways! LOL!

Dad, Nana, Brandi, and myself all bought mom Vera Bradley luggage (just like the pic at the top of the blog) for her birthday, so we had the cake look like the design of the suitcase! It was cute! And mom really seemed to like her present. Happy Birthday, Mom!!! We love you!

Football Fever

Today Slade won Defensive Player of the Game. I'm not sure who was more excited.

He won a little trophy and a certificate. He actually got his first quarterback sack today!!! It was awesome!

Dad gives some advice.

Smart #57

This boy works up quite a thirst!

My whole heart right here.

Patriots in action!

Fitting into my Patriot tshirt at nine months pregnant is getting tricky! LOL!

Say Yum, Please!

Three words......Pumpkin Spice Latte.

As ridiculous as it is to spend $3.95 for a cup of coffee, I have to say that after being sick this week and coughing all night, my Starbucks purchase was worth every penny this morning. I rarely go to Starbucks-I mean seriously, you can buy an entire can of Folgers for not much more, but dang it, my pumpkin latte was dreamy. I highly recommend you drink it at least once this fall-splurge-just eat a sandwich at home for lunch or something.


So I didn't feel great this past weekend, my eyes had been burning, and on Monday night, I went to bed thinking I felt really cruddy. I was up and down-more than usual-all night and my head was pounding and my sinuses were on fire. I felt horrible all day on Tuesday so much so that I took Finley to school and got back into bed and never got out. My doctor called me in an antibiotic and it seems to be working on this nasty sinus infection. At least it was this week, instead of the week I'm having the baby. So I've been on survival mode this week and not real productive, but I feel better. Kyle didn't have any socks or pants to wear today, so my washing evidently felt the pain. Seriously, it seems like I am washing constantly or folding clothes. I now know why my mother yelled at us to hang up those clothes that we ripped off the hanger to try on and threw into the laundry instead of just hanging it back up since it was clean. Sorry I did that, Mom. Finley does the same thing to me now, so paybacks are $#%&!

Happy Fall, Ya'll

Now that we've officially crept into October, can you believe it?, and the temperatures are going to be in the 70's this week, I feel like it's officially fall. Love this time of the year!!!!


What have we been up to? Finley went to the South Plains Fair petting zoo on a field trip. She started dance again-need to post those pics, and loves her gymnastics class with Mr. Ryan. She is still a singing fool-sings constantly, is rather hard headed, still not totally happy that the baby is not a girl, eats only the tops off of her chocolate doughnuts, is sleeping all night in panties-just decided one day she would quit wearing a pull-up at night-yay!, and has decided to grow her bangs out. We attempted to get her ears pierced, but she chickened out last minute and told me she thought she just changed her mind, after we filled out paper work and picked out earrings. Maybe next year.


Slade is engrossed in all things football related. Kyle and he are constantly discussing plays, positions, etc. He loves practicing, games, the uniform, his teammates, and the black paint they put under his eyes! He's a little bruised up in places and I cringe as I wait to see him get up out of the pile of blue jerseys, but we are really enjoying his first season in YFL. He practices three times per week and has a game on Sunday afternoons, so we are very busy with football this fall. On another note, school is going great for Slade. He seems very happy and is doing very well in second grade. He never complains in the morning when he gets up. I have to just take a tiny motherly moment to brag on my boy, but he is reading 161 wpm on his TPRI test (average is 60) and can read books on a fourth grade level. I'm super proud of him!!! I hope he always loves school. Oh, and did I mention he walks home from school every day? It is fabulous and I can stand in the front yard and see all the way down to the school. I know it will be very helpful when baby arrives and we can just stand and watch for brother to walk home.


We've celebrated my birthday, mom's birthday, gone to the two Tech home games, and are getting things ready for baby-who will be here in 25 days!!! I am washing clothes and blankets-Dreft smells so yummy. A few of my close friends threw me a little shower-pics to come of that-which was very sweet of them. So, all in all, the Smarts have been busy little bees. I'm ready to go buy some pumpkins and make that pumpkin bread that I crave!!! Happy Fall, Ya'll!