I'm THAT Parent!

I have come to a scary conclusion. I have become the parent that I hated when I taught school. I am pathetically so happy that my child is going back to school tomorrow-I know, it's awful. I feel really bad to say that, being that I am a fellow teacher myself. When I taught school, I dreamed of the 3:42 bell to ring, the Christmas holidays, Spring Break, and the most wonderful week of the year - the last of May. But my children have puked, fought, hit, wrestled, cried, whined, screamed, and bickered for the past week and I cannot wait for the structure to come back into our lives. It's not that I want them to leave, we just need our schedule again instead of craziness. I am aware that I need to do some clever activity planning for the upcoming summer to keep my children "engaged" instead of at each others throats. There are a few things I've learned from Spring Break 2009.

1. I hate scraping barf off of clothing.
2. A petite, 28 lb. two-year-old can get in some damaging blows to her six year old nemesis.
3. Slade can eat a bag of Goldfish all by himself, in one sitting.
4. The person that scheduled a soccer game for the weekend of spring break is an idiot or terribly uninformed.
5. A glass of wine makes the sound of your kids screaming go down a few octaves.
6. A Nintendo DS can actually save the sanity of the car's driver.
7. You can actually get the slip-n-slide out in March in West Texas.
8. You can actually sunburn your face outdoors in March in West Texas.
9. Coco Pebbles will dry up and stick like concrete to plastic if left outdoors.
10. Rats travel well in the car.
11. Augmentin can wreak havoc on a household and run up your Tide bill.
12. Only buy "well made" kites-the plastic ones don't cut it.
13. They actually make diet Mountain Dew.
14. You don't have to spend money to have an eventful spring break-I didn't say if it was fun or not.
15. When you buy Junior Mints from Duckwalls in Iraan, Texas-expect them to be stale.
16. And last but for sure not least, there should a "Million Teacher March" held in Washington, D.C. to protest teacher salaries. Something I've always known, but was refreshed upon my mind this past week. Pure Saints, those people are-they should have their own holiday dedicated to them-like a month long one.

Hope you had a nice week-and give all the teachers in your life a big fat hug! Did I mention I hate scraping barf off of clothing?